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<title>A Time-Honoured Tradition by goodboylupin (somebetterwords)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204307">A Time-Honoured Tradition</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebetterwords/pseuds/goodboylupin'>goodboylupin (somebetterwords)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caught, Humor, M/M, RSCandyHearts, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:42:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebetterwords/pseuds/goodboylupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>James catches an eyeful of something unexpected, unwelcome, and wholly offensive to his sensibilities in the course of being helpful to an elderly guest.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Candy Hearts Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Time-Honoured Tradition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My (first) fill for my Candy Hearts Challenge message: GROOM. I simultaneously had three different ideas for this prompt, but this was by far the shortest and quickest. I hope to write at least one additional fill for this prompt and I definitely plan to take another candy heart in two days, when my wait period is over. If you’re reading this, please sign up for the <a href="https://goodboylupin.tumblr.com/post/641042022467305473/hey-all-sorry-if-this-post-is-giving-you-deja">Candy Hearts Challenge</a>, and if you’ve already done it once, feel free to drop by for another heart!</p><p>Rated M for spice. Thank you to @kattlupin and @bethansfandoms for the beta &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>As he stepped out of the ballroom in which the reception party raged on, James closed the french doors behind him with a quiet click, the sound of revelry and the wedding band instantly falling away.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He took a moment to enjoy the silence, then James sauntered down the hall and hopped the counter of the coat check — the happy couple had opted not to hire an attendant for the cloakroom as they were the only event booked at the venue and they trusted their guests not to steal one another’s outerwear — to retrieve Bathilda Bagshot’s cloak and shawl, the eldest guest at the wedding having decided to take leave after she’d had her fill of dessert.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The first row of hangers bore the bulky, full-length coats the more warm-blooded guests needed to brave a February wedding in the Scottish highlands. James parted them easily to access the racks in the back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And was greeted with the sight of Sirius Black’s naked arse — three shades paler than the rest of him, James had to <em>know that</em> now — gyrating as he humped into an eager (and equally pants-less, if the bare leg hooked over Sirius’s hip was anything to go by) Remus Lupin, who moaned happily with every frequent thrust and dipped his head back in ecstasy, letting Sirius bury his face in his neck.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“OH MY GOD!” James shouted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh my god,” Remus gasped, snapping back to reality and shoving at Sirius’s shoulders.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sirius growled in protest, pinned Remus even higher up against the wall for a moment before he relented and pulled away (<em>away</em>, not out. James could not stand to even think that Sirius was pulling <em>out</em>).</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh my god,” James repeated, turning away and burying his face in his hands so he wouldn’t have to see his best friends’ frontsides naked too. “Merlin’s fucking armpit, oh my god.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Did you need something, Prongs?” Sirius demanded huffily, as if <em>James</em> was in the wrong for walking in on them and interrupting their fun.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you decent now?” James asked, eyes still covered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We’re clothed, yes,” Remus answered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>James peeked very quickly, and when he confirmed that their trousers were back on —crumpled white dress shirts untucked and mostly unbuttoned yes, but at least their trousers were back on and James would never ever have to see Padfoot’s butt again in his life <em>ever</em> — he grabbed the assortment of men’s hats at his elbow and began lobbing them at the pair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You! Horny! Idiots!” James punctuated every word with another throw, though of course Sirius and Remus managed to bat the hats away with no effort. “Who raised you? Who <em>does</em> this!?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Having run out of hats and steam, James exhaled heavily and crossed his arms over the shoulder.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You need to relax, James!” Sirius waved a hand dismissively. “It’s a wedding! A quickie in the coat closet is a time-honoured tradition!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Augh!” James grabbed the bell off the counter and chucked it at Sirius, conking him in the head with a satisfying <em>brrring</em>. “That’s for drunken bridesmaids and distant cousins who don’t want to be there! You’re the fucking <em>grooms</em>!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Remus chuckled. “Sorry,” he apologized. “Just. Fucking. Fucking grooms? You get it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>James glared. He pointed imperiously at the door. “You are going to fix your shirts, march back in there, and spend some time with the guests at <em>your</em> fucking party. And so help me <em>god</em> if I find out you snuck away again!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Holding their hands up in surrender, Sirius and Remus did as ordered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ridiculous,” James grumbled to himself as he set about picking up the hats strewn about the floor and brushing off any dust. “Some people have no fucking manners.”</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Rebloggable on <a href="https://goodboylupin.tumblr.com/post/642220403374358529/my-first-fill-for-my-candy-hearts-challenge">Tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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